My sister Mitra talks about this idea of there being a season for different things. She talks about in the context of periods of time in our lives – sometimes we focus on school for many years, other times we can be hanging out and having fun, then building a career or family is where our efforts are. It doesn’t have to be a super-long time – maybe it’s just a period of a few months where we train for a marathon, or perhaps it takes a few months to initiate a job change.
And just because it’s the season for something, that doesn’t mean nothing else happens. It’s more about where our focus and emphasis is, where the majority of one’s mindshare is.
Having completed a couple Ironman triathlons, I know that, like many of my friends who have done the same, when I’m training for an Ironman, it dominates my thoughts. That’s not surprising given that I would typically train 2-3 hours a day, longer on the weekends, comprising 10 or so workouts in a week. Add to that the need to eat right and sleep well, not to mention that despite the food and sleep, I always seem to be exhausted in the middle of my training months. And because I’m so busy with training and everything around it, I don’t get out as much as I might have, am not as up on what’s going on in the world, and don’t get to see my friends as much as either one of us would like. But I do this consciously, intentionally, and without regret, because the finish line (no pun intended) is something I deem worthwhile, something I deem worth the price I have to pay.
Many of my friends tell me that we are living such different lives, because most of them are married and have at least 1 child. As such, with a spouse, full-time job, and child, they don’t have the time that I do – as busy as I am, I know that in general, I have much more discretionary time than do most of my friends. When you think of responsibilities such as a child, mortgage and spouse, I know that mine pale in comparison. And so when we speak on the phone, they often tell me how different our lives are, how they would love to be able to train as much as I do. I tell them that while they may be jealous of what I do, I am jealous of what they do and have – a happily married life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life right now, but, in a good way, there are components of my friends’ lives that I want for myself. Perhaps living vicariously through one another helps us stay connected.
Bringing this back to the concept of seasons – perhaps the past few years, the season has been for me to have the single life – to be able to make decisions that, while they affect my parents and sisters in a certain way, I could make for myself. I have been able to start a magazine, dabble in a variety of ventures, and have the flexibility in time and commitments to train for an Ironman and some ultra-distance cycling events.
As Mitra describes things, the season for all this stuff for me might be longer than she would normally think of, and perhaps longer than she would prefer, but there is no definition of a season that constrains how long or short it is. It is important to be aware of how we are spending our time, of being able to step back and evaluate what season we are in and what season we want to be in. When those two converge, that’s a great thing.
I think Mitra tends to think of seasons as more natural cycles, that while you can affect them, there is a flow to them. Not that life is pre-destined, but in general, our twenties are more about exploring and defining ourselves, our thirties are about building our families and careers, our forties (not that I’m there yet) are about taking those things that are important to us to another level. And so on. Of course, the key word is that these are generalizations – not everyone does nor should follow this “schedule.”
In retrospect, it is often easier to see what the seasons were in our past – as we think about certain periods of our lives. And so what of the present and the future? We can certainly anticipate things that are possible. And of course we are never in full control of everything around us, but we do have choices in how we act and react.
Life certainly seems to have its seasons. And some seasons seem to last longer (or shorter) than we would prefer. Enjoying those seasons and taking advantage of them is what I try to focus on. Changes happen, so you can either lament the fact that the tree is barren or enjoy the change in the colors and recognize that the leaves will reappear in the spring.
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