I should state at the very beginning that I am and always
have been a very sarcastic individual. My family is known for giving each other a hard time so I grew up with
it. And then living in
New York
for a couple years, well, yea, that makes you a bit more sarcastic. Plus, I like sarcasm. I think it’s a fun way to show your sense of humor.
But there’s a problem with sarcasm. And it’s really pretty simple. Sarcasm is a form of humor that requires someone to know you for them to get that you’re being sarcastic. Since sarcasm typically is used to poke fun at someone or something, the seriousness of the intent of a person’s comment can come off as being mean, when in fact it was intended to be a play on what’s said.
And herein lies the problem. Oftentimes, people mistake someone who is being sarcastic to be someone who is serious and rude or mean. For a stranger to the sarcastic individual, it could be a very natural reaction. At the very least, it can cause confusion on whether someone is being serious or not. What I’ve also found is that people who are highly sarcastic are also those who get comfortable with strangers quite quickly, and in so doing, feel that it’s okay to be sarcastic. But again, oftentimes, the strangers may take a while to feel comfortable with someone else. And so, sarcastic folks can alienate others quite quickly.
Sarcasm also doesn’t transfer well when written. It’s really hard to gauge tone and intent in an email. Sarcasm is best delivered with a change in tone and often a change in body language.
I’ve thought about this often because I’ve gotten myself into trouble a bunch of times when I’ve just recently meant someone and then made a sarcastic comment which my new “friend” didn’t get because they thought I was serious, not kidding. And so, I’ve tried to be less sarcastic over time.
This came up today because Faith Hill has been criticized for her reaction at the Country Music Awards last night; she didn’t win best singer and so since she was backstage, she raised her arms, looked at the camera and said “What?” and then ran off camera. Now, many people think she was just joking, claiming that it’s not her personality and that she has done this before.
When I saw the video myself, I really didn’t know – mostly because she had a pretty dark look in her when she looked in the camera. But I’m a Faith Hill fan and so I just chalk that up to being able to look intense. And so, there’s the problem. Even for someone who is a fan but doesn’t necessarily know her that well, it’s hard to tell.
And so sarcasm is causing a bit of annoying press for her.
Then there’s John Kerry who recently made the brilliant comment that if you don’t get a good education that you’ll be sent off to Iraq. He meant it as a joke, but the press had a field day with him.
I’m a big believer that to every joke there is a bit of seriousness. The question is just how much seriousness. And that’s something that is often unclear with sarcastic humor.
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