It has been 15 hours since I got the news of Brian’s (affectionately referred to as BDR at our Sigma Chi fraternity at MIT) death in a plane crash. Like everyone else, I still can’t believe it’s happened. Surreal, nightmare, tragedy and a great loss for the world are some of the words and phrases that come to mind.
I am not even sure the last time I saw Brian – it might have been a couple years ago, it might have been more like 5-7 years. Time has a way of passing in weird ways. Suffice to say that Brian and I weren’t particularly close in recent years, not because of any falling out but rather because we simply had our own lives and hadn’t reconnected other than the annual holiday cards we sent to one another. I have actually had a note to myself in my gmail inbox (which doesn’t have more than 30 messages, so it’s not like it’s a cluttered place) to reach out to BDR since he and his family moved out to Southern California.
But the time gap doesn’t make his impact on me or others nor the emotions we feel with his loss any smaller. Brian was an absolutely amazing individual. In college, as far as I know, he is the only person to pay his way thru MIT, working 20-30 hour weeks at a local software company. While not a stellar student in the grade category, he clearly learned a great deal. But he also viewed college life as much more than simply classes (or also work in his case), as he was President and Treasurer of our fraternity, rowed crew (more in a sec), dated, partied (way too many stories here) and most importantly was a great friend to many folks. He even earned and saved enough that he could take a semester away in Russia.
Brian and I rowed freshman crew together – he sat right behind me in a very special year of rowing. I remember beating Dartmouth up in New Hampshire by a tenth of a second and Brian yelling for joy when we won that race. Our coach Mike Welch used to say that Brian had no business being in that boat – he was short and stocky, not the stereotypical crew body type. But by sheer will and determination, Brian earned his place there. Just one of many places that sort of thing happened with Brian.
Out of respect for his family, I’ll spare the partying stories, even though they were some of the typical BDR moments in college. We all have many many many of them. Even at his wedding’s rehearsal dinner, people had story after story to tell of Brian. Suffice to say, he was nuts, pushed all of us, made us laugh (as well as some other things). I can always remember Brian with that silly, dare I say stupid smile / grin of his, as he did something to garner a reaction. It was the grin of a child – and while he grew out of being childish, he always maintained a childlike sense about him.
Brian and I were also roommates in NYC in our first year after college, he in management consulting, myself in investment banking. So we really didn’t see each other that much. Over the years, I have found myself bragging about Brian, and I always include this fact, that we were roommates, as if it makes me cooler, being connected in that way to someone so amazing. I’m proud of my life and achievements, but Brian was always someone people wanted to be connected to, closer to. That’s how special he was. And so yes, Brian and I were roommates in our first year in NYC. Then he went off to do some ridiculously amazing things.
Everyone knows his story, of leaving consulting to start Planetall – one of my friends rightly described it as the first social network. And this was back in 1996. When they sold to Amazon, everyone was happy for Brian and the rest of the Planetall crew, but particularly for Brian as there isn’t a harder-working guy out there. And he certainly didn’t rest on his laurels, starting the equivalent of a NASDAQ for the bond market, wasn’t successful financially there, so had the maturity and vision to realize the benefit of an HBS education and experience – as if there was a question he would get in… His efforts to get solar panels put on the top of the HBS buildings began the next chapter of his career, as he went off into solar power in several different ventures.
There are a great many things I remember about Brian – he was always rough around the edges, but Eileen cleaned him up pretty good. Thanks Eileen! J But most importantly was Brian’s character. He wasn’t some who just experienced an amazing life, but rather he made life an amazing experience. For himself and everyone around him. His wife and children, his family, those of us who knew him directly, and really the world – we have all lost someone truly special. The world is a bit less great without him in it. What he had achieved in so many realms in 38 years was only a precursor to what was to come. He was only getting going.
We’ll miss you Brian.
I miss you Brian.
But know that you have touched so so many lives, brought smiles to our faces, changed how we perceive the world, impressed us with your passion and energy, and brought joy and love to your family.
Rest well my friend.
I still can’t believe you’re gone.
Respectfully and sincerely,
Your bro,
In hoc,
-Babak
